In the beginning, peaches grew on trees. Now the peaches were ripe and ready, but they would not be fresh forever, and the smell of peaches at the farmers market wafted over me.
And I said, "Let me take them home, fifteen pounds of them," and take them home I did. I saw that the peaches were good, and I separated the peaches from the peels. I called the peaches "tasty" and the peels "fuzzy." And there was dipping of peaches into boiling water then cold water as the peaches were skinned--the first step.
And I said, "Let the peaches be separated from the pits." So I took a knife and carved the flesh from the pits and was thankful these were freestone peaches. And they were separated. I called the flesh "halves." And there was a bowl of halves and a pile of pits--the second step.
And I said, "Let the little one entertain himself." And it was so. The little one called the toaster "fun" and the bag of chips "tasty." And I saw that it was good.
Then I said, "Let the peaches be heated in an apple juice syrup, and when I run out of that a sugar syrup will do." And it was so. The peaches heated a single layer at a time, according to the directions. And I saw that it was good. There was heat and there was a ladle--the third step.
And I said, "Let the peaches go in the jars--the book says fifteen pounds should make five quarts." But it turns out I filled up seven more pints. I made two layers in my canning pot--one layer of quart jars and one layer of pint jars. I filled the pot with water. I set the jars in the pot as I filled them. And I saw that it was full. There was an an empty bowl where the peaches used to be and a full pot--the fourth step.
And I said, "Let the pot teem with water, bubbling over and onto the stove." So I cranked up the heat and put on the lid and tried to keep the fire from going out. The flame raged, according to its strength, and the water boiled and bubbled, according to its strength. And I saw the flame go out and panicked. I said to myself, "Maybe I should move the pot to a different burner and mop up the water so I don't fill the house with gas and blow us all up." And I slid the pot over and turned up the heat--the fifth step.
And the little one demanded, "I'm bored, according to my kind! Let me into the baking cupboard to play." And it was so. The little one took out the blender and put it together, according to its parts, and emptied out the muffin tins and cake pans according to his desires. He pulled everything out that was interesting to play with.
Then I said, "At least you are out of my way."
And the little one was a busy as his mommy, just like his mom he kept himself occupied.
I looked at him and said to him, "Have fun and keep out of my hair; make sure you don't burn yourself on the pot. Glad there's nothing sharp in there." And it was so.
And when the timer beeped, I saw all that I had made, and it looked very good. And I took the jars out of the pot and placed them on the counter--the sixth step.
Thus the five quarts and seven pints were completed in all their vast array.
I had completed all the canning I desired; but the seventh step was to tidy the kitchen. Oh well.